to do what I love
I’ve been doing these blog entries and I enjoy doing them because they help me to organize my thoughts just as I’m doing now. I will likely still start my days like this. But at the end of it all I’m really just wanting to focus my attention on writing my stories instead. This is what it’s all about. Not really the entries. These are just another attempt to cut through the noise and have some way of connecting with you. I still think it’s important to do this and I’ve never truly prioritized it in the way I’d like, but that’s largely because I haven’t quite found the format that works for me.
I just watched a bunch of JK Rowling interviews. Actually one in it’s entirety (well two, there was the shorter one with Stepher Fry) and I really relate to her a lot. I’m not huge fan of Harry Potter but maybe if I read the books it would change my stance. Still I find myself inspired by Rowling’s journey as a writer and creator and so I wanted to learn more about her headspace when she’s creating.
I’ve been doing these blog entries and I enjoy doing them because they help me to organize my thoughts just as I’m doing now. I will likely still start my days like this. But at the end of it all I’m really just wanting to focus my attention on writing my stories instead. This is what it’s all about. Not really the entries. These are just another attempt to cut through the noise and have some way of connecting with you. I still think it’s important to do this and I’ve never truly prioritized it in the way I’d like, but that’s largely because I haven’t quite found the format that works for me.
The whole point of this is to do what I love. To live the most beautiful life I can today, and for the rest of my time here on Earth.
Bouncing light is like a game of pool (study of color and light pt. 3)
In visual art there are three major expressions of light. Key light, fill light and bounce light. Key light is where the original light source is impacting the object. It’s the main light source. Fill light or ambient light is the indirect lighting the fills a space partially covered in shadow. Bounce light is key light that reflects onto a surface that is not receiving direct, or key, light.
In visual art there are three major expressions of light. Key light, fill light and bounce light. Key light is where the original light source is impacting the object. It’s the main light source. Fill light or ambient light is the indirect lighting the fills a space partially covered in shadow. Bounce light is key light that reflects onto a surface that is not receiving direct, or key, light.
Direct sunlight is a key light, it reveals color. Shadow drowns it, so everything you can still see that’s in the shade would be fill light. And if you notice a green light from the grass reflecting onto your metal picnic table, that’s bounce light.
This morning, I was looking at my foot in the light from the window and catching all the different components of light. The key coming from the window. The bounce hitting the other side of the foot, presumably from the walls of the bedroom and I started asking questions about the process matter goes through to absorb and reflect light, creating these visual phenomena. Today I decided just to cover bounce light, as it’s the most mysterious of all to me, and it answers a lot of questions about key light as well.
Bouncing light reminds me of a game of pool. The cue being the initial light source and the rest of the balls representing the scattering light. The scattering has to do with the wave formations of light. Since light is essentially an electromagnetic wave, the emission of electrons across an oscillating plane causes the scatter. So it turns out there's also a destructive flashing that happens upon reflection because the light is scattering in all directions once it collides with whatever matter or whatever surface it collides with. We only see the constructive “victors” of that clash which tend to the waves headed in the direction of least conflict. That's why light bounces predictably at the same angle as the source or key light.
The more I learn about this the more I feel I don't understand it at all. I find it fascinating how it shows up differently depending on the effective quality of the surface. Whether it's a matte surface or metallic and whether it's smooth and rugged. These seem to be the most important qualities to look at. I'm wondering how else you can determine how light will bounce in a space? The fact that it takes on qualities of the object it's bouncing off of too it's impressive. It’s yet another reminder that all things are really energy vibrating at various frequencies. The vibration, or radiance of light goes through the same stuff material objects like rocks goes through. Knowing the basis of these thermodynamic principles helps to see the relationships between things, but it doesn’t seem to help in really making sense of it all. The mysterious nature of life is half the fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sEfO3WeFP8&t=914s
in what way would you become corrupted if you gained absolute power?
If you want to become more empathetic answer this question: in what way would you become corrupted if you gained absolute power?
If you want to become more empathetic answer this question: in what way would you become corrupted if you gained absolute power?
never ask a samurai where they got their sword
Never ask a samurai where they got their sword as the sword doesn’t matter. If you want to learn how they do what they do, first offer them a helping hand, then show them what you’ve learned already. If your interest is genuine someone willl guide you down the right path. Once you’ve walked that path, you’ll find the right sword for you. A sword remarkably different from the samurai you admired.
Never ask a samurai where they got their sword as the sword doesn’t matter. If you want to learn how they do what they do, first offer them a helping hand, then show them what you’ve learned already. If your interest is genuine someone willl guide you down the right path. Once you’ve walked that path, you’ll find the right sword for you. A sword remarkably different from the samurai you admired.
A Red Giant (Fantasy writing prompt)
I came across a list of 75 fantasy writing prompts online and decided to use a random number generator from 1 to 75 to pick my prompt for me. I got 67 “An enchanted cloak that renders the wearer invisible”. I didn’t really edit this, or add context so it reads as well as it could, but I hope the core of the story shines through. With that said, here’s my best attempt at writing this without it sounding like I stole the idea from Harry Potter:
I came across a list of 75 fantasy writing prompts online and decided to use a random number generator from 1 to 75 to pick my prompt for me. I got 67 “An enchanted cloak that renders the wearer invisible”. I didn’t really edit this, or add context so it reads as well as it could, but I hope the core of the story shines through. With that said, here’s my best attempt at writing this without it sounding like I stole the idea from Harry Potter:
A Red Giant
Tanya’s short, skin tight plaid skirt, low cut high fashion top, and red delicious lipstick matched perfectly on the red carpet. Even amongst the actors and models she photographed with, your eyes couldn’t quite peel away from her. She was a red giant. The center of her solar system. And the first to walk away.
She quickly found the server with the most generous pours of white wine stepping in front of a gentlemen who appeared a bit older, hunched over and frazzled.
He called to her, “Tanya!”
She was surprised to see him there.
“Hello.”
“How have you been all these years? I mean obviously things are going well for you.”
“It’s no big deal, really. I’m sorry, there are a lot of people here who want an interview. Who are you with again?”
“What? No, it’s me… Josko.”
Tanya could tell his feelings were hurt, but she wasn’t sure why.
“Oh.”
Only when he took a sip of wine hunching even deeper into his posture was her memory jogged.
“Oh! Josko! Oh my gosh!”
Tanya leans in to give him a hug.
“It’s been forever! Since college right.”
“Uh, yeah. And a couple odd times after that.”
“That’s right. You shot a movie not too long ago didn’t you.”
“I did! Did you get a chance to watch it? I always admired your vision and thought maybe you can give me some advice.”
“Oh. I don’t know. I really just go in not giving a fuck. Throw everything at the wall. Let them hear you scream! You can’t ignore a bomb going off.”
“Whoa.”
“But it gets boring after a while. After this film I’m thinking about doing fashion for a while.”
Josko takes the opportunity to check out her outfit.
“You’ve always had a keen sense for that as well.”
“Thank you.” Tanya replies with a forced smile.
“Josko, seriously, it was nice seeing you again but I’m kinda needed for this event.”
“Of course! It’s your movie.”
Tanya reaches into hug him one more time but she’s stopped.
“Wait!”
Josko pulls a small wrapped box from the inside pocket of a coat.
“I have a gift for you.”
“How sweet!”
Tanya steps to Josko’s side and hugs him quickly. She unapologetically B-lines for the bathroom, finishing her wine on the way and tossing her cup ona random counter. As soon as she steps into the bathroom she throws the gift in the trash unopened. It's her reflection in the mirror that catches her attention. After another woman leaves the bathroom, leaving Tanya inside, alone, something grabs her attention. Like the impact of an asteroid, even the red giant had to heed it’s call.
She reached back into a mostly empty trash bin with a curled lip of disgust and right there in the bathroom she opened Josko’s gift. It was an empty box. She laughed.
“Figures.”
And then a male voice appeared.
“Your name is Tanya, correct?”
“Whoa!”
She looked around the bathroom to see who was there. No one. But the voice continued on.
“I can’t be seen by the naked eye, Tanya. I’m only here to give you a gift.”
“What the fuck is this?”
“But, I must tell you I can’t give you what you want. Fortunately for you, you seem to have gotten all you’ve ever truly wanted. Now I have what’s left.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I have what you need.”
“Of course you do.”
From the tiny box resting on the bathroom counter unravels a gorgeous tan cloak. It fits her outfit perfectly.
“Amazing! A stylist.”
There’s no reply.
“Weird.”
Tanya throws the cloak on casually to see how it looks but as soon as it falls over her shoulders both the cloak and she become invisible!
Almost immediately Tanya removes the cloak.
“Really?”
She throws it all back in the trash.
where the term “apocalypse” comes from
Periodically, I’ll sit outside with my girlfriend’s cats and watch them play, while keeping them from running out into the alleyway and getting hit by cars. As I’m writing this, they're literally ducking down like it's the apocalypse, in an attempt to avoid the wind. It’s amusing. But, me being me, it made me wonder where the term apocalypse originally came from.
Periodically, I’ll sit outside with my girlfriend’s cats and watch them play, while keeping them from running out into the alleyway and getting hit by cars. As I’m writing this, they're literally ducking down like it's the apocalypse, in an attempt to avoid the wind. It’s amusing. But, me being me, it made me wonder where the term apocalypse originally came from.
With a little research, I found it’s actually a genre of literature meaning stories that begin with great heavenly visions of the rise of a false prophet, famine, war, and plagues, followed by the rebellion of the children of God which sets everything back to a state of harmony, like the Biblical Book of Revelation.
It's a masterclass on story, the ways life may unfold. That's the real beauty of that art form is that when it is true, it never deviates from a possibility. This is what will happen to you if you follow this path. Whether this is good or bad is up to you to determine but this will be the conflict you face and these are the possible outcomes of that conflict. There’s such power in that.
We often think of Apocalypse as the end of all things, but In Greek it actually means to pull the lid off of something. A literal revelation. The implications being only in the face of great crisis can the truth remain unhidden. So if we’re willing to face that truth, Apocalypse isn’t an ending at all. It’s a beginning.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%201&version=NIV
write it bad
The best way to get into writing for the day. Write it bad. If you show up everyday it gets better. We become what we practice.
The best way to get into writing for the day. Write it bad. If you show up everyday it gets better. We become what we practice.
a gold medal worth winning
When I was in high school I distinctly remember getting into a debate with a friend of mine over which one of us was the lazier student. Neither of us cared for school, we just couldn’t see the value in it. We could only make arguments about who had it the worst and who avoided the consequences the best. Years later I understand even more clearly why I never found school valuable, but the price I paid was the habit of procrastination that I still occasionally struggle with today. Even when it counts. It raises a good question: was that a gold medal that was really worth winning?
When I was in high school I distinctly remember getting into a debate with a friend of mine over which one of us was the lazier student. Neither of us cared for school, we just couldn’t see the value in it. We could only make arguments about who had it the worst and who avoided the consequences the best. Years later I understand even more clearly why I never found school valuable, but the price I paid was the habit of procrastination that I still occasionally struggle with today. Even when it counts. It raises a good question: was that a gold medal that was really worth winning?
https://www.quora.com/Was-school-really-invented-to-train-kids-to-comply-and-work-in-factories
10,000 ways to know yourself
You can research your genetic history. You can go through the healing process whether from illness or injury. You can seek mastery of any skill you choose. There are 10,000 ways to know yourself. It almost doesn’t matter what you do so long as you your heart is in it and you do it with a willingness to let go of anything and everything else. As you walk through hell, all that doesn’t burn is truly you.
You can research your genetic history. You can go through the healing process whether from illness or injury. You can seek mastery of any skill you choose. There are 10,000 ways to know yourself. It almost doesn’t matter what you do so long as you your heart is in it and you do it with a willingness to let go of anything and everything else. As you walk through hell, all that doesn’t burn is truly you.
give reverence to the smaller things in life
If you’re unhappy with the state of the world, offer service to those around you without expecting anything in return. We watch the devastating force of the hurricane and feel powerless to do anything then ignore the butterfly gently flapping it’s wing. Give reverence to the smaller things in life. Dance with the changing winds.
If you’re unhappy with the state of the world, offer service to those around you without expecting anything in return. We watch the devastating force of the hurricane and feel powerless to do anything then ignore the butterfly gently flapping it’s wing. Give reverence to the smaller things in life. Dance with the changing winds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlXVikDkyTg
don’t “should” on yourself
I've decided to remove “should” entirely from my vernacular. I had a conversation not long ago with a friend where she talked about the dangers of the word “should” and even suggested to others that they don’t “should” on themselves. I find that the word can be riddled with a sense of guilt, needing to do something in order to live up to a standard that I myself am not necessarily interesting in. It can also lead a judgmental stance towards others of the situations of others. So what would happen if I didn’t use it at all?
I've decided to remove “should” entirely from my vernacular. I had a conversation not long ago with a friend where she talked about the dangers of the word “should” and even suggested to others that they don’t “should” on themselves. I find that the word can be riddled with a sense of guilt, needing to do something in order to live up to a standard that I myself am not necessarily interesting in. It can also lead a judgmental stance towards others of the situations of others. So what would happen if I didn’t use it at all?
I spent a month attempting to remove the word “should” from my vocabulary not only in speech but also in thought. I knew going into it that I would slip from time to time but setting my attending towards it would undoubtedly shine a light on how frequently I say “should” and in what contexts. Quickly, I found that emphasis on using or not using the word “should” was a “should” in and of itself. This seemed like it might be a conundrum at first but then I considered that I wasn’t actually saying I should or not shouldn’t say “should” but rather that I would not say “should” for the next few weeks. It was all very technical.
At that stage I started to consider the real world ramifications of never saying “should”. It turns out there really weren’t any obvious changes. No one noticed. I barely noticed aside from the fact that I had this sound I was disallowing myself to make. But I found that I was still thinking and behaving along the same lines. It wasn’t the word so much as it was the intention. I still believed that things should or shouldn’t happen in a certain way.
During this time I also happened to have a deep discussion with another woman who mentioned to me the need to release any notion that life had to unfold in the way that it has in the past. If you consider this for yourself, you’ll likely find it a difficult reality to deal with. After so many summers we know perfectly well that come May, summer is right around the corner. But this doesn’t apply to everything in life. It applies to seasons and cycles. This is the real danger of the “should” mentality. There’s nothing wrong with the word. If you intend to do something you should do it. Honesty, especially with yourself, will only lead to happiness and freedom. However, if you apply “shoulds” to situations outside of your control, or situations you’re not even interested in repeating, then you are only limiting your perception and your behaviors. It’s a terrible strategy to make your dreams come true.
I took five weeks between first considering this experiment and writing this piece. During those five weeks my mom passed, I reconnected with a lot of people I hadn’t spoken to in a long time, traveled to Chicago, had many strange dreams, designed a bunch of monsters, saw Dune part 2, and have started to befriend a stray cat who’s living in my backyard. Whether any of these things should or should not have happened is not up to me to decide. They happened regardless. But now, having experience all of this, and much much more, I can decide not what should happen, but to be open to whatever might happen, with a clear intention on what’s important to me. And while I don’t know what will happen next on that road, but I do know which road I am choosing to take.
https://www.reddit.com/r/philosophy/comments/v9uc0/define_should/
imagine looking at the world as though you’ve never seen it before
Imagine looking at the world as though you’ve never seen it before. You don’t know what anything is called. You don’t know what anything does. You don’t know how anything feels. All you know is whatever you experience right now. What do you observe?
Imagine looking at the world as though you’ve never seen it before. You don’t know what anything is called. You don’t know what anything does. You don’t know how anything feels. All you know is whatever you experience right now. What do you observe?
it’s ok to cry
I asked a guide from a higher dimension to write a piece for me and this is what came out:
The greatest men I’ve ever known have been men who are willing to cry. If you can go to battle and fight for what you love this is strength but true power comes from those who are willing to love with their whole hearts. You can even say that you didn’t write this. These aren’t your words. They come from someone far beyond this world that you are currently in. The value of this being that these words transcend time. In all of God’s dimensions this will remain true.
Thank you again, friend.
Whether this was truly a higher being or a deeper part of my subconscious is up for anyone’s interpretation. But the words ring true to me.
capturing the times in a timeless way
How do we capture the times in a timeless way?
Like rotary phones and 8 tracks, one day these phones we have in our pockets will be the butt of a joke about times long passed.
How do we capture the times in a timeless way?
Like rotary phones and 8 tracks, one day these phones we have in our pockets will be the butt of a joke about times long passed. I've written a bunch of these now and with each one I start by rambling on to see where my mind wanders off to. Eventually I always land on something I find noteworthy or interesting. Much of the time I'll relate them to modern trends or new discoveries but I know these things won't last. Some of them will be disproven and laughed at like using leeches for bloodletting.
But at the core of who we are or by the nature of the universe there are certain qualities that outlast all things. These phones are the most powerful communication devices ever created in modern human history. The most effective way to talk to my family from thousands of miles away.
https://www.psychotherapyinsights.ca/carl-jung/the-spirit-of-the-times-introduction-to-the-red-book/
give your heart purposefully
Have you ever exploded at someone for some small comment they’ve made and later found you regretted your actions? It’s easy to say something came over us. Or to double down and focus on how rude or insensitive their commentary was. And there’s likely truth in that. But no matter how you justify it, that thing that’s come over you is not something separate from you. It’s a part of you, that if unacknowledged will wait impatiently to rise again.
With reflection, these moments become our greatest lessons. They’re the doorways to unlocking our greatest strengths. When our blood boils we know firmly and clearly where our hearts lie. And in our hearts we know what matters to us most in this short window of time we call our lives.
Own the worst parts of yourself and you can give your heart purposefully.
https://youtu.be/_sNNTpORtDQ?si=Le3M03fdy1Xl5lj4
no oats oatmeal
I haven’t been eating grains really at all and I feel great for it. In fact I mostly eat vegetables and fish that I cook at home. If you’re not doing that it may sound difficult but like anything once it’s normalized it’s just that -- normal. It’s not really more time consuming, it’s not really more expensive, and I feel better generally. It really is just different than what I had been doing before.
I haven’t been eating grains really at all and I feel great for it. In fact I mostly eat vegetables and fish that I cook at home. If you’re not doing that it may sound difficult but like anything once it’s normalized it’s just that -- normal. It’s not really more time consuming, it’s not really more expensive, and I feel better generally. It really is just different than what I had been doing before.
Although every now and then I do want to eat something outside of that range just for the diversity of it. I had a random desire to have some oatmeal, which I say is random because I wasn’t heavy into oatmeal to begin with but in the moment that I was writing this it was appealing. It made me wonder if there wasa way to make oatmeal without grains?
As it goes on the Internet, almost immediately I found an oatmeal without oats (at least it’s not as ridiculous as an oatmeal without meal). My customary link will take you to a recipe.
The main thing I find curious about this is that if we’re willing to step outside of what we deem possible we can sometimes very quickly find alternative options. I don’t know yet, as I haven’t tried it, but sometimes we’ll find that the alternative is more appealing than the thing we’re used to. We just have to give things a fair chance.
Whenever I try this I’ll follow it up and let you know if it was any good. Or you can click the link below and see for yourself.
What if your deepest most foundational belief was factually proven to be totally false?
What if your deepest most foundational belief was factually proven to be totally false? This could lead to a destructive retaliation or a personal sense of worthlessness. Or it could be your best opportunity for freedom. Genuinely ask yourself this question and unbelievable possibilities might arise.
What if your deepest most foundational belief was factually proven to be totally false? This could lead to a destructive retaliation or a personal sense of worthlessness. Or it could be your best opportunity for freedom. Genuinely ask yourself this question and unbelievable possibilities might arise.
i had to “get it”
A few years back I through my back out exercising just because I wanted to force the extension in my back. I had to “get it”.
A few years back I through my back out exercising just because I wanted to force the extension in my back. I had to “get it”. When I reflected on that I realized this was an example of poor motor neural packeting (the way our brains determine which neurons need to fire in order to achieve certain actions) and an ego attachment with needing to improve myself. In other words, the strain of the relationship between my body and mind actually caused me pain and damage that could have been avoided through a simple discussion.
We know these things happen in interpersonal relationships. Things really only go wrong one of two ways: we fundamentally disagree with one another and refuse to make an effort to see things from the other person’s perspective, or we fail to communicate altogether. Communication is happening whether we address it or not. The less clarity, the more likely it is to go wrong. And the best way for us to cultivate that in our relationships or in our daily lives is to mediate the discussion happening across different dimensions of ourselves.
https://news.mit.edu/2015/brain-strengthen-connections-between-neurons-1118
we can advance our technology and harmonize with nature
I'm convinced that we can continue to advance our technology and harmonize with nature. Just as in music there's no such thing as a bad note. We can play anything with anything. Our root note asks that we use certain sets of notes to make sounds that are appealing.
I'm convinced that we can continue to advance our technology and harmonize with nature. Just as in music there's no such thing as a bad note. We can play anything with anything. Our root note asks that we use certain sets of notes to make sounds that are appealing. For example, one we're playing in C Major, our most common scale in music, we're expected to play only white keys on the piano in order to maintain that sense of harmony. But sometimes playing sounds that are technically less appealing capture our sentiments better. We also notice that culturally people tend to respond differently to different sets of notes. So something that is considered a harmonious progression in the US might be considered unappealing in Namibia.
In that case, what makes something harmonious?
In taiji, movements are harmonious when disparate parts of the body are acting in synchronicity with one another. For example, if I am sinking into my posture, bending my knees in the process then my elbows are also bending at the same rate. My arms and legs can move independently of one another but if I am moving them in tandem there comes with that a certain elegance or grace that brings with that a certain kind of strength. With these actions aren't looking for any particular kind of reward, we're only noticing how everything is connected and through connection we are rewarded.
So can things really be out of harmony if the nature of the universe is such that all things are always in motion, together? Even when they clash, split or tear, can we say that this is such a thing as disharmony truly? And if there is, is disharmony not harmonizing with harmony?
https://blog.duolingo.com/is-music-a-universal-language/?utm_source=duonews&utm_medium=EN