the trouble with thinking
The trouble with thinking is that is it tends to be recycled memories playing over and over again in our minds.
The trouble with thinking is that is it tends to be recycled memories playing over and over again in our minds. But there is this deeper level where we can begin to tap into something beyond ourselves. Some might call it intuition. Others might call it a cosmic guide. Many don’t hear it because of the chatter of the mind. This is the power of meditation, or mediation. We recognize what amazing phenomena are taking place right before our eyes that we don’t see because we are in motion.
Sitting still with our thoughts is a powerful process not only because we can sort out what it is that we think about and reflect upon ourselves, but more importantly because we can find a quiet moment where we can simply listen.
my assumptions are incorrect
I hear original musical compositions in my head that I can’t quite express because I haven’t reached the level of skill needed to get it just the way I imagine it. Somewhere in the process of translating the imaginary into something tangible, certain things get lost. It’s moment like these that remind me how little I know about everything. And how what goes on in my mind frequently doesn’t reflect what’s happening in three-dimensional space. And so, I’ve devoted myself to the practice of exploration, meaning I act as though my assumptions are incorrect. Time and time again, I’m reminded that I have no idea what is and isn’t possible. With this practice, I’m able make songs that I never would have imagined.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiHeNyY629A
dance your way to better mental health
I've just seen a headline for an article called “dance your way to better mental health.” What has happened where so many of us are desperately struggling to find good health? Why is it that we suggest engaging in activities that could just be fun only to muddy with the need to gain some sort of benefit? Why don’t we dance just to dance?
I've just seen a headline for an article called “dance your way to better mental health.” What has happened where so many of us are desperately struggling to find good health? Why is it that we suggest engaging in activities that could just be fun only to muddy with the need to gain some sort of benefit? Why don’t we dance just to dance?
rest in peace, akira toriyama
He was 68. It's amazing how much this man accomplished in that time and yet I can't help but wonder what his everyday life was like where he went down at that age. He was still young.
This man was in many ways the blueprint for me. The game I’m currenty working on, Geo Mythica, is directly inspired by a game he famously developed, released in 1995, called Chrono Trigger. Although I can’t always claim to be his biggest fan, he had the career I’ve been striving for. Here’s a cool video on how he got to be who he was.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDm9X1Sm5eU&t=666s
why visualization works
Why does visualization work? Is that even the question I want to ask? I can explain why it works. It’s because our focus is in one place. It comes back to the double slit experiment where it was observed that light can be both classified as a particle and a wave. More interesting the way it appears depends on whether or not someone is observing it, something called the Observer Effect. There’s the old adage “if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it still make a sound?” If all of our attention is focused on falling trees, everything in life will relate to the woods.
Why does visualization work? Is that even the question I want to ask? I can explain why it works. It’s because our focus is in one place. It comes back to the double slit experiment where it was observed that light can be both classified as a particle and a wave. More interesting the way it appears depends on whether or not someone is observing it, something called the Observer Effect. There’s the old adage “if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it still make a sound?” If all of our attention is focused on falling trees, everything in life will relate to the woods.
Likewise, if we have a particular creative project, for example, and we have decided that we’re going to work on this project and this project only, until it’s seen to completion, then everything we think, say, see, and do will eventually revolve around this project. With this kind of central focus on a singular task, inevitably, this project must be completed. Just like the particles of light it’s been transformed by the observer from an idea to a tangible thing.
The reason why I ask if it’s worth asking the question “why does visualization work?” is because our visualizations can also be a hindrance. Let’s say you’re looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You have this perfect picture of the person in your head that you’re longing to be with, and around every corner all you do is search for this particular person. But what your idea of a perfect partner isn’t actually the right partner for you? Wouldn’t it then be better to let go of any notion of a particular person and allow yourself to be open to whoever is around you? In developing genuinely connections with other people without having any particular outcome in mind will you find yourself a better path for you?
https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/8423983
when no story is able to help us
Maybe I’ve heard the same story too many times and now I need to get into something deeper. Eventually we may hit a wall where no story is able to help us. It’s then that all we have is silence.
I’m thinking about that Rick and Morty episode and how it made me feel ike TV is a waste of time. I generally enjoy Rick and Morty but this particular day it hit differently.
It was all about revenge and how you feel cold after you’ve gotten it but I think it was the disconnection between that and other episodes about Evil Morty that did it. I don’t know. Or maybe it’s just boring.
Maybe I’ve heard the same story too many times and now I need to get into something deeper. Eventually we may hit a wall where no story is able to help us. It’s then that all we have is silence.
https://youtu.be/FDuDgCZyGUg?si=Izx-GkUlKfoVDnOv
write your own story
I suggest taking a moment to write your own story. It sounds weird at first but if you’re like me it gets fun pretty quickly. Who are you? How do you define yourself? What’s your power? Your weakness? What happened that turned you into the person you are today?
I suggest taking a moment to write your own story. It sounds weird at first but if you’re like me it gets fun pretty quickly. Who are you? How do you define yourself? What’s your power? Your weakness? What happened that turned you into the person you are today? Where are you going now? What villain are you facing? How will you defeat them? Why must you defeat them? Will we live happily ever after if we don’t? In a world where we love engrossing ourselves in movies about all kinds of heroes, it’s become more essential than ever that we fall in love with our own story. It plays whether we watch it or not. Direct it your way.
when you can’t not do it
I've always found that if I make a list, let's say for the top places I'd like to visit in my lifetime, and then I look into them and mark them off one by one. It's always the ones that I can't bear to remove that I really want to go to most.
I've always found that if I make a list, let's say for the top places I'd like to visit in my lifetime, and then I look into them and mark them off one by one. It's always the ones that I can't bear to remove that I really want to go to most.
In the case of my writings I'd like to have that so I can have something to look to before I sit down everyday. Ideas I've had for some time that I couldn't get to on a day but might one day. If I can't not write about it, it's something worth exploring.
https://youtu.be/yDm9X1Sm5eU?si=llrj8xR8EsnCqNnz
how i got good at ddr
I played Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) for the first time in years on a work trip to DC. For those that know me, you know that a work trip for me means I'm at a videogame convention or something like this. So there was a free arcade set up 24/7 during the duration of the convention and after spending a couple of mornings wandering the halls before I needed to start I realized this was a prime opportunity to jump on for a couple games. I only played our last morning there but those three games were an invigorating return to one of my favorite games ever. I wasn't as good as I was in my prime but I could still play. It was just enough to remind me of the beauty of the game, and some of the lessons I walked away with from playing it consistently for the years I was playing. Namely, how to get good at anything.
I played Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) for the first time in years on a work trip to DC. For those that know me, you know that a work trip for me means I'm at a videogame convention or something like this. So there was a free arcade set up 24/7 during the duration of the convention and after spending a couple of mornings wandering the halls before I needed to start I realized this was a prime opportunity to jump on for a couple games. I only played our last morning there but those three games were an invigorating return to one of my favorite games ever. I wasn't as good as I was in my prime but I could still play. It was just enough to remind me of the beauty of the game, and some of the lessons I walked away with from playing it consistently for the years I was playing. Namely, how to get good at anything.
In the brief period where I actually went to a university I spent most of my time skipping class to do things I actually found valuable. One of the most notable things I did was learn how to play DDR. You know, the big arcade machine where you step on arrow at the timing of a beat while your friends laugh at you awkwardly stumbling about trying to hit the right arrows at the right time. I started that way too, but I had the luxury of having a good friend who already had a basic understanding of the game to guide me through it. I would go to his dorm room on an extremely regular basis and he would pull out the mat and we would just play. He caught me up to speed to where I started in light (or basic, the starting difficulty setting) to moving up to standard, and even playing a couple songs on heavy (or expert, the highest difficulty setting).
That's the first step. He and I played together for years to the point where our play styles almost certainly developed in a certain way because of each other. I've seen this referred to as a “healthy rivalry” but for us we weren't really even rivals. We just had fun playing.
Eventually we reached a point where playing on the plastic mats you have at home was becoming too difficult to do at the challenge level we were at and we started frequenting the local arcade where they had a machine. There, we could easily play together, we had much more solid footing, and we started meeting other DDR players.
That's the second step, find a community at large that you join up with. Your friend/partner in it will always be somebody you can come back to but being a part of a larger community will only add to that. This amplified after we both dropped out of university (it was bound to happen) and moved back to Chicago. There we found a whole group of die hard players that we could reliably meet with in a regular basis. All we had to do was show up the arcade and it was likely that some monster of a player would be there for the day. What happened at that point was we started being able to play harder songs than we were actually able to beat because whoever it was we were playing with was able to cruise through it. So we could fail songs without seeing that game over screen and losing our quarters that we just paid to go in.
Which actually takes us to the third step: play outside your comfort zone. This is something that's been happening the whole time, and was made much more possible due playing the game with other players who were invested in the game but it's a crucial point. In DDR once you pay for your game you get three songs to choose from one by one. With time we learned that the first song should typically be a song you can beat but is a little more challenging for you. The second song should be a song you can cruise in, an opportunity the hone and perfect your timing or if you were me, play around with spin moves mid game knowing you were pretty much guaranteed to pass the song anyway. The final song would be a song that you were likely to fail but you might be able to pass with some practice. This meant we got full games and we got an opportunity to stretch out potential for the lowest cost. Of course in the some cases you might fail but your partner would pass, which then gave you an opportunity to play through parts of the song you wouldn't be able to make it to on your own. It was a fantastic system to maximize play time and to improve in the game. And probably the best lesson I learned in university.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6vEU6FPOAc
the easy path
The easy path is only easy in the short term. Those who regularly take long, challenging walks are less likely to suffer from chronic pain as they grow older.
The easy path is only easy in the short term. Those who regularly take long, challenging walks are less likely to suffer from chronic pain as they grow older.
Scientists have developed an AI that can learn what faces we find attractive by reading our brain waves. Considering that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this will help us to consider how our perspectives are formed, which might help us to better understand ourselves. Except, we all know that we can already make these determinations for ourselves through the faculties of our own being. This will take us on a shorter and easier walk, but in the long term what pain might we suffer?
https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Power-of-Neuroplasticity-Audiobook/B094W6L4TB
What makes a good story?
Someone is having a normal day until an opportunity for them to get what they’ve always wanted arrives at their front door. Normally, they’ve never really gone for it, but this time they decide to go all in. It looks like a good idea at first, until some extraordinary obstacle stops them from getting this thing they’ve always dreamed of. Whether that obstacle is another someone, a place, or themselves, it is something unlike anything they’ve faced before. In their pursuit of getting what they want, they have to face their deepest darkest fears and find out that what they wanted wasn’t necessarily what they truly needed. In the end, they either overcome the obstacle or they don’t. But maybe we all learn a valuable lesson about ourselves…
Someone is having a normal day until an opportunity for them to get what they’ve always wanted arrives at their front door. Normally, they’ve never really gone for it, but this time they decide to go all in. It looks like a good idea at first, until some extraordinary obstacle stops them from getting this thing they’ve always dreamed of. Whether that obstacle is another someone, a place, or themselves, it is something unlike anything they’ve faced before. In their pursuit of getting what they want, they have to face their deepest darkest fears and find out that what they wanted wasn’t necessarily what they truly needed. In the end, they either overcome the obstacle or they don’t. But maybe we all learn a valuable lesson about ourselves.
We’re all living stories all the time. We oftentimes project our stories onto others, especially when my story happens to clash with yours. For some of us, the victory in the story comes from revenge. For others it comes from redemption. For others, love. We each dance through different roles at different times or our lives.
Most would agree that in the best stories we come out the hero. And in the worst stories, we fail. But I would argue that the worst stories are the stories where the protagonist sees the opportunity arrive and chooses to never leave their doorstep.
How would you describe the story of your life so far?
was I bound to be a Wormworld Saga fan?
I started this by looking at some old notes and was reminded of a webcomic that I was into at the time called Wormworld Saga by Daniel Lieske. Considering I’ve been exploring the works of many creative people, diving into his work again was a treat.
It led me to wonder about the interconnectedness of things, a phenomena so pervasive in our everyday lives that it makes many things in life appear to be fated. I still think it’s best to act as though this isn’t true. To decide on your own values. Especially when these values are in honor of the interconnectedness of all things.
I started this by looking at some old notes and was reminded of a webcomic that I was into at the time called Wormworld Saga by Daniel Lieske. Considering I’ve been exploring the works of many creative people, diving into his work again was a treat.
It led me to wonder about the interconnectedness of things, a phenomena so pervasive in our everyday lives that it makes many things in life appear to be fated. I still think it’s best to act as though this isn’t true. To decide on your own values. Especially when these values are in honor of the interconnectedness of all things.
The reason why it’s tough to say whether we really make choices is because I don’t exist without oxygen and oxygen is something that happened a long long time ago. With my temperament and my interests in this time was I bound to be a Wormworld Saga fan? Was Daniel Lieske fated to make Wormworld Saga? What might have been different if he didn’t? Who knows. But this relationship between myself and someone who lives many many miles away, and has no idea who I am, has stretched over the course of more than a decade. And his influence has shaped my sensibilities.
moving rocks
I had the honor of moving a few rocks from one house to another. They weighed maybe 200 lbs. each, and there were three of us working together to get it done.
In order to do it successfully we needed to communicate clearly, coordinate our movements with one another, and individually coordinate ourselves. There’s a certain level of emotional maturity, mental clarity and physical conditioning that was required. Any area that was lacking would surely rise to the surface. Our character was exposed.
I had the honor of moving a few rocks from one house to another. They weighed maybe 200 lbs. each, and there were three of us working together to get it done.
In order to do it successfully we needed to communicate clearly, coordinate our movements with one another, and individually coordinate ourselves. There’s a certain level of emotional maturity, mental clarity and physical conditioning that was required. Any area that was lacking would surely rise to the surface. Our character was exposed.
Moving rocks may immediately remind us of the myth of Sisyphus. For those who are unfamiliar, Sisyphus rebelled against the gods by trapping Death in chains and allowing all human beings to live forever. When the gods got wind of this they set death free. Sisyphus suspected his punishment would soon follow and made peace with his end. Instead, the gods allowed him to remain immortal and sentenced him to push a rock up a hill -- for the rest of his life.
In our case, we weren’t alone like Sisyphus. And we spent less than an hour moving the rocks. But the experience still raises a valuable question. Why did any of us show up to do something like this?
The easy answer is because a friend asked us for help. For them, it was all about making their garden look a little bit nicer. For us, it was a service we could offer for someone we care about. It was a test of our character and we smiled the whole way through. It’s best to imagine that Sisyphus did the same.
https://www2.hawaii.edu/~freeman/courses/phil360/16.%20Myth%20of%20Sisyphus.pdf
recognition is the first step to healing
No matter how different we may look from the outside, whether male or female, black or white, rich or poor, we can all fall ill to the same disease and we can all spread that virus to one another. Any jealousy, fear, hatred or resentment is a failure to recognize this. Recognition is the first step to healing.
No matter how different we may look from the outside, whether male or female, black or white, rich or poor, we can all fall ill to the same disease and we can all spread that virus to one another. Any jealousy, fear, hatred or resentment is a failure to recognize this. Recognition is the first step to healing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ78Hpwrt80&list=WL&index=3&t=3303s
why i can’t love my neighbor
What’s the way I want to ask myself why I can’t love my neighbor?
How do I phrase this question so I can connect most deeply with the meaning behind it? I know the saying “love thy neighbor” originally as a tenet of Christianity but have found that it is the basis of any great spiritual and philosophical practice. The happiest people are the ones who are aware, honest, responsible. Even those who some would consider evil. Sometimes those who most consider evil.
Can you honestly admit what you don’t like about yourself? Could you accept it if you learned that this was an eternal part of you? Could you admit if the answer was “no”? Would you know it if you shook hands with the devil? If the devil were your neighbor could you love them?
language is a tricky thing
Language is a tricky thing. The way that we individually interpret words varies not only from culture to culture but from individual to individual. So if I say “I just want to be free”, you and I will have two different images in our heads of what that freedom actually looks like…
Language is a tricky thing. The way that we individually interpret words varies not only from culture to culture but from individual to individual. So if I say “I just want to be free”, you and I will have two different images in our heads of what that freedom actually looks like. Likewise, I may use a word that I consider harmless but you consider the worst of offenses. Or I may say to myself I want to be successful without taking the time to specify my own parameters of success.
Let us take to the time to clarify what we envision with the words that we choose. And let us be sure that we listen for those clarifications.
https://blog.duolingo.com/is-music-a-universal-language/?utm_source=duonews&utm_medium=EN
like a ghost in the room
… the great benefit of VR is that we can feel like we’re on a rollercoaster when movement is happening even though we’re sitting still. Peering over the edge of a building is terrifying even though you know that the building and the drop are both illusions.
I’ve been taking some time to explore virtual reality blocking passes. How does it feel to move through a virtual space? I’ve already talked about this phenomenon in yesterday’s entry and I’m exploring similar ideas here, but now I’m working on capturing it in different ways that may elicit different emotions from the observer. I’d like to capture the feeling of a being a ghost in the room. Particularly in a virtual setting, where that doesn’t make me sound like Jack the Ripper.
But in all seriousness, following someone without them knowing of your existence gives you a window into their character that you won’t necessarily see otherwise. It might be someone you think you know well, until you see them alone. What stance do you wind up taking on this person now?
What If you could do this to yourself? Both, as someone who doesn’t feel what it feels like to be you and literally as yourself, just like “It’s a Wonderful Life”. In the former, would you empathize with yourself at all? In the latter, would you tolerate yourself at all?
As mentioned in my previous writing, the great benefit of VR is that we can feel like we’re on a rollercoaster when movement is happening even though we’re sitting still. Peering over the edge of a building is terrifying even though you know that the building and the drop are both illusions. It’s the strength of that illusion that takes us back to our lives here. How much of what we believe is happening is affecting the way we make choices? Can movement through this space challenge those illusions in a meaningful way?
There is a technical aspect to exploring blocking in a virtual space to see what feels good or bad to me. Then there’s the exploration of scenarios that draw out mysterious, visceral feelings that may follow us without us recognizing their origins. Just like the ghost in the room.
Being swallowed by The Illusion
What fascinates me most about virtual reality is the feeling that you're in motion when you're sitting still. You can peer over the edge of a building and believe you might fall. It triggers all the same responses in the body, so deeply that scientists have actually been using VR for exposure therapy to help people to get over their phobias.
What fascinates me most about virtual reality is the feeling that you're in motion when you're sitting still. You can peer over the edge of a building and believe you might fall. It triggers all the same responses in the body, so deeply that scientists have actually been using VR for exposure therapy to help people to get over their phobias.
These basic survival mechanisms of the body are often referred to as reptilian but they are in many ways our most intelligent mechanisms. Our primal instincts. Not only do they keep us safe from harm, but they also are the central points of all of our stories. If you don’t believe me find a movie that you like whose climax does not consists of one of the following: a fight, flight, or sex (or some kind of union).
But if we can fall into the illusion in situations that we know are illusory then certainly we fall into the illusion in situations we believe are real.
It raises a question that has often been raised by philosophers and psychologists throughout time: how do we truly know what is “real”? Mark Twain had a famous quote, “it’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled”. In psychological terms, we call this “confimation bias”. Once you’ve decided that something is so, you will tend to defend that stance, even if empirical evidence suggested the opposite is presented to you. This reminds me of the famous Socrates quote, “all I know is I know nothing.” This seems to be the only antidote to recognizing reality. To know that we don’t know what is and isn’t “real”.
Interestingly, Mark Twain also said this, “Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”
In a practical sense, this highlights the real value of diving into the virtual world and experience the magic of that space. It’s more important than ever to take time alone, time at the beach, or in a forest. To be a part of a community where you see each other in person. To till and take care of the soil beneath our feet. To have reverence for life, so as not to be swallowed by the illusion.
But, it’s important we also recognize that the illusion represents our creativity. A vision for possibilities in this lifetime that can’t be seen, but can be felt deep in the crevices of our hearts, and can only be made true by those who understand these are more than just illusions.
https://theweek.com/articles/448952/how-optical-illusions-trick-brain-according-science
i’m not really a money guy, but…
I’m sure you’ve noticed, I'm not really a “money guy”. I'm more of a “creativity and curiosity guy”. But in order to maximize creative output we need support. And one of the most important resources for support in the modern age is money. So I spend a fair amount of time learning about economics and financial literacy and negotiating and all of these things that help us to navigate that world successfully.
I’m sure you’ve noticed, I'm not really a “money guy”. I'm more of a “creativity and curiosity guy”. But in order to maximize creative output we need support. And one of the most important resources for support in the modern age is money. So I spend a fair amount of time learning about economics and financial literacy and negotiating and all of these things that help us to navigate that world successfully.
What I've learned is that virtually every expert on this subject agrees that it all starts with mindset. If you think money is bad or unimportant then you ironically become a slave to money. Those who decide that money is valuable, and that it is their responsibility to acquire it, will invariably make choices to take things under their control. It doesn't mean they'll succeed in the way they imagine, but it does mean they'll put their efforts towards it, which means they're likely to see some improvement.
Now, if there is something wrong with our mindset about money, which there almost certainly is if you're struggling with money at the moment, then there are also probably some emotional blockages that we have to deal with in order to free ourselves from our points of view that keep us from doing the things we need to do to achieve what we've set out to achieve.
This checklist has only three things on it:
First, are you willing to acknowledge the way that you feel? Honestly. Whatever comes up, can you sit with that feeling without fighting it or trying to change it in any way. Just accept how you feel.
Second, can you have the difficult conversations that you need to have now that you have acknowledged what has gone wrong? Maybe it's telling someone dear to you something that you know they don't want to hear. Or maybe it's cold calling those people who are likely to reject you, but also have the ability to change your life with a single “yes”. The most likely conversation is the one to be had with yourself. Am I clear on what I'm doing? Am I clear on why I'm doing it? Does this really matter to me, or is it just what I think is expected of me? Do I have something that's worth sharing? Getting clear with yourself and testing these things with a circle of trusted confidants will not be easy conversations, but they will take you beyond the obstacles that are
keeping you stuck.
Lastly, there's consistency. To show up, day in day out, even when you're not seeing any results from your actions. This is the rarest trait a human being can have and the most fruitful.
Whenever I am stuck I return to these three things. Whether dealing with money, or any practical, material matters, this always sets me free.
action is the answer
The nature of life is truly mysterious to me. Once again I find myself unsure of what to write, knowing the answer lies at the tips of my fingers, not on the top of my mind.
There’s truly a magic to action that can’t be attained through any other means. Whatever woes you may have in life, the answer is virtually always finding a mentor and/or community, listening deeply to whatever they have to say, especially if you disagree with their statements, and taking action for a period of time to test for yourself whether this may work for you. There is no problem humanity is facing that can’t be solved with this method. There’s only one real question that stands in our way: how do we get along?
The nature of life is truly mysterious to me. Once again I find myself unsure of what to write, knowing the answer lies at the tips of my fingers, not on the top of my mind.
There’s truly a magic to action that can’t be attained through any other means. Whatever woes you may have in life, the answer is virtually always finding a mentor and/or community, listening deeply to whatever they have to say, especially if you disagree with their statements, and taking action for a period of time to test for yourself whether this may work for you. There is no problem humanity is facing that can’t be solved with this method. There’s only one real question that stands in our way: how do we get along?
I have a reasonable answer for this as well. We start with ourselves. Writing like I am today helps to formulate thoughts. There’s a truth to this form of expression that can’t be evaded. If you say what you mean in the written form, there’s an eternal documentation of your ups and downs that can easily be traced through various periods of life. Through that identification process we can sit with our emotions. Literally just being still and feeling how we feel will take us all a long way. If we deliberately practice this, we will be able to better access these qualities in times of great stress. Processing our emotions will allow us to let them pass, and more importantly, this will allow us to feel them. We all know how easy it can be to repress ourselves or to resist the truth of an experience. Especially if it’s painful. But, holding on to that pain inevitably leads to us passing it on to others like a virus.
There are other actions we can take, including eating better, exercise, breath work, and hobbies. However, it can get overwhelming to make so many changes at once. A small step is a great method. Writing is tangible and straightforward so that’s my personal go to. Just 5 minutes in the morning of writing whatever comes to mind, without editing yourself, and with no plans of sharing what you’ve written.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LtLvSw0jqKc